New House Rules

Now normally our home environment is pretty lax, as I try to keep it light and easy-going since it's just Aziza and myself. But lately, not sure if it's her turning eight or what, but Aziza has become very argumentative, disputing everything I ask her to do. Either that, or she says, "not now" or "hold on" or "I'll do it later," and of course the best one of all is, "But my favorite show is coming on soon... can't I stay up and watch it?" It's endless with the excuses and reasons for not doing what an 8-year-old little girl needs to do.

I finally drew the line. I dropped her off the other morning at school, came home and typed up our "New House Rules." To realize my need and creation for these rules, you have to know that I deal with issues like too much snacking, going to bed too late, waking up too late, not getting the homework done, excessive TV viewing time, etc...I think you get the picture - typical stuff but still very frustrating. Being a single mother can be no picnic. There's no one to say, "Your mother's right, Aziza, it's time to go to bed" or "Aziza do your homework." Just having someone there as an echo to what you are trying to enforce, goes a long way.

So here are our New House Rules, and I have to say, with the exception of her small additions to it (she needed to feel like she had a say in it)and her requirement that we both sign the rules, she actually respects the fact that they are in place. They make sense to her and it gives her parameters, and me too. It helps me to stay on track, so I don't lose sight of the rules. And since I have posted them in more than one place in our home, I don't think either of us will be forgetting them anytime soon. So here they are:

1. After school you may have only ONE snack – choose wisely.
2. After school outdoor activity is encouraged: Riding your bike, walking, the library, the park
3. Homework is to be completed before dinner.
4. ONE Snack is permitted after dinner at about 7pm, providing all dinner was finished.
5. Television viewing time is over at 8pm EVERY school night.
6. Bedtime will be 9pm and NO LATER on school nights.
7. Morning wake-up time on school days is 7am, so there is time for breakfast, and to get ready for school.
8. We will leave for school NO LATER than 8:10am(she needs to be there by 8:25, and we are arriving at maybe 8:24 every day).

These rules are basic, and seemingly fair, and so far she has been following them. In addition, I've reserved time from 8-9pm every school night after TV time is over for us to do something together before she goes to bed. She likes knowing that this hour I'm all hers and that we're doing something she wants together.

Kids definitely need limits, they like rules, it helps them to understand what is expected of them, and it provides for a secure, consistent environment. I'm definitely going to make every effort to continue with this as I think we may make some real progress in achieving an even more harmonious, less stressful home life. And with little things like these, it should be manageable - I hope!