Unfit Parents: There are Too Many

Lately, I have been hearing more and more stories of how parents lose custody of their children because they're not fit parents, for one reason or another. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like to lose your children, and the subsequent hurt it causes them. To speculate, maybe those parents are so messed up and consumed with their own personal dramas and troubles, they can't feel the pain of losing their children. On some level, I can further speculate that they see it as a relief, since they were not handling them very responsibly anyway.

Still, I can't fathom getting myself so bogged down with dramas and troubles that it causes me to lose my daughter. I was never one to get in trouble in my 20's but was definitely in need of greater focus and taking more responsibility for my life. If anything, having my daughter changed my life. It gave me more purpose and a sense of greater strength to be more responsible, focusing on our well-being the best way I knew how. It brought out the better in me. And sure, there are times I miss how carefree I once was, but that was who I was then.

I've recently met a woman, close to my own age, and I think she has three children, all of whom live with someone else, perhaps the father or fathers. That is uncertain. What is certain is that she has lost custody of all of them. Now she lives with an ex-boyfriend, and they are both being evicted from their apartment in less than two weeks. She knows they are going their separate ways but has no idea as of yet where that is. She seems like a good person, just not very good to herself. And I can't say what has caused her to lose her kids, but when you're in court for one thing or another, and needing to always borrow money from anyone who will lend it to you, something is seriously wrong. I feel for her but clearly she is either confused about what is right and wrong, or has a blatant disregard for the distinction. How do you arbitrarily make significantly bad, very bad decisions that affect your life in seemingly irreparable ways? The damage oftentimes cannot be undone. I can only feel sorry for her kids who can't know the comfort and security of having a stable and nurturing mother in their life.