Summer is Underway!

I haven't felt much like writing lately, although I think about it all the time. Being so busy a lot, it leaves little room or energy to sit down at my computer and pound out some words. I was feeling unusually tired, only to find out that my thyroid was acting a little sluggish again, so my doctor increased my dosage of Synthroid. It's been about a week, and I'm feeling more energetic.

I have been indulging in a great book called The Hungry Season and it really fills the void. T. Greenwood has a beautiful writing style that simply and effortlessly carries me from one chapter to the next. Pages fly by and I'm amazed. I love that I'm reading again. During school semesters it is hard to catch up on leisure reading as I'm inundated with textbook reading.

Aziza had a meltdown this past week one day when she was leaving a friend's house. Seems all the friends that were there have siblings, and to her that means they always have a playmate. True, true... but they also get under each other's skin just as much and that she has no clue about. However, I realize being an only child, she will have those longing feelings for a brother or sister. Since I'm not going to be able to magically produce one of those, I think a pet is the best option for her. We need something small, low-maintenance, stink free(as stink free as we can get), and cute. I thought about hamsters but they are not as friendly with kids, will bite more often than not, and they do make more of a stink mess. Gerbils on the other hand have much better reviews. Plus, being social animals, unlike the hamster that can be solitary with no issues, they love to have a companion in their cage, and love to bond with people. I only hope I can get Aziza comfortable enough to touch them and pick them up. She's very skittish about most animals, so maybe I can break her of it. We head out this morning to pick up the little guys (and I say guys because they advise to buy them in pairs - makes for much happier gerbils).

Not much on the dating scene for me; staying away from it for a while. The drama and disappointment is more than I can stand, and quite honestly, I'm content alone. Sure, it would be nice to meet someone special that really complements me and my life, where we make each other happy. Why wouldn't I want that but I can't make something happen. Like everyone says, "It's all in the timing." Well, that's fine but I'm done watching the clock... at least for now.

Aziza starts her summer program this week at the Boys & Girls Club and it should be lots of fun for her. Plus, this year they take the kids ages 8-12 to the Endwell Greens Golf Course where they can learn to play golf on a child-size 6-hole golf course. Can't wait to get the feedback on that!

I'm looking forward to our next summer weekend getaway! Thinking Lake George would be a great place to visit. I've never been there and I think the fun and attraction of the area would be perfect for Aziza. Would love to do it this 4th of July weekend but may have to push it off just a little bit. Plenty of time - two whole months of summer to go!

All for now... wishing everyone a terrific summer as it gets underway!

What's a girl to do?

Father's Day hasn't meant a whole lot to me in the recent past. My father died 21 years ago this past May, and my daughter has not seen or heard from her father in 8 years this August. So, every year Aziza and I do something nice together, even if it's just spending the whole day together being lazy, we're at least doing it together. Today we shopped, polished each other's toes and we ate some of our favorite foods. With the heat outside the way it was today, we were content to just hang out in the air conditioning after shopping.

This past week I posted on how excited I was to run into an old co-worker since we seemed to have a similar attraction to each other. Since that posting, this man, this person, whoever he is, proceeded to send me e-mails over the course of the 2-3 days after I had drinks with him that were crude, obnoxious, disrespectful, and essentially self-centered. I was totally shocked... he was nothing like the man I spent time with for two hours last week. That night he was open, a gentleman, interesting, a little funny, but mostly he appeared to be a genuinely nice guy going through a tough divorce. What the hell happened? If he wasn't interested in me, geez, say that... but I don't think that was it. He just seems to not care about how he affects people and especially has no interest in being a real person. I was beside myself, feeling like I was fooled. When it comes to men, I am a fool, especially if I think there are any good ones left. Be happy for your boyfriends and husbands because it is ugly out there, and whoever is single has a very slim chance of finding happiness again. I'm not saying it can't happen but these men are single because they are divorced or have never married, and they are not the cream of the crop - I can assure you.

So, what's a girl to do? Well, I'm here writing, I got myself a couple of good books to pull me into another place, and I'm thinking about taking up canning jams and jellies as a hobby. Had to write an instructional manual on it this past semester, so I've pretty much got the process down. Just need the berries! Summertime is a great time to have fun, take trips, spend time with friends, and cool off near the pool...so being in a relationship during this time is perfect, and I'm in one, with my daughter!

Wow, where have I been?

This is the first night in probably over three weeks that I've had the time to sit down, collect my thoughts and begin to share some of the recent happenings in my life. There's always something going on, for us, and those around us.

Work is moving along smoothly but still wishing in the back of my mind that the dream job will arrive. A dream job being one that satisfies my soul and gives me a place to make a difference. I'm all about change and making things better, and when I'm working somewhere where the status quo is all I have to work with, I lose my get up and go.

Aziza is thrilled of course that we are in the home stretch of 2nd grade, and looking forward to a fun-filled summer. We were able to get away over the Memorial Day weekend to get to the beach but it did not turn out as planned. I got horrible sunburn on my legs - and I mean really bad, swelling and awful pain - and Aziza got lost for the first time. It was the scariest 15 minutes of my life, both our lives I think, but thank God we found her quickly, safe and sound.













Aziza finally received a Citizen of the Month award at school, and boy was it time. She was really beginning to develop a negative self-image, wondering why she wasn't a good enough person to be Citizen of the Month. Too much for an 8-year-old to process. Thankfully, she got it. See her beaming smile on the occasion? I'd pay any money for that smile to always be there - actually, I somewhat almost do! Aziza is the one on the right, sporting her shiny pink shorts and black sparkle Pro-Keds.













Been out in the dating scene again and meeting more unfavorables. I did however meet up with a former co-worker, who I had a huge crush on and who was pretty flirty himself, BUT he was married then and I was not taking the bait. We have always kept in contact, with him trying a couple of times to bring me back to his company but it always fell through. Well... we spoke again just recently, only for me to find out that he has moved out into his own apartment, and the divorce proceedings are under way. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear about two people getting a divorce, but I've had my eye on him for almost 4 years and he's finally available. We met for cocktails and talked, and we both know what we want - each other. Someone pinch me... is this really going to happen?? Am I finally going to get the man I want?? I'm trying to contain my excitement at the thought of what real happiness might mean, but I know I have to keep it in perspective until... well, until I have real reason to lose all reason! I will definitely keep you posted!